I'm coming home...

So, now my ticket home is booked. I'm coming home. I'll be landing on the 28th of June and will go directly to my beloved Caspers birthday party. I bought him the best gift ever, I'm the best aunt ever. My man is working and some nights it seems that he's never coming home, while some just passes. Today it's a mix, it's passing, but he's not coming. I'm smoking a lot. I have to stop doing that. It's for no use. I think I'm just bored. I'll get a coffeemachine instead. One drug to another. Oh well. (maybe I should bring one from Sweden?)

I just went through my folder for my see-you-later party before I was moving. I fucking miss my friends!

Can we have nights like this soon? In swedish.

Lady Midnight

Well, I argued all night like so many have before, saying, "Whatever you give me, I seem to need so much more." Then she pointed at me where I kneeled on her floor, she said, "Don't try to use me or slyly refuse me, just win me or lose me. It is this that the darkness is for." I cried, "Oh, Lady Midnight, I fear that you grow old. The stars eat your body and the wind makes you cold.""If we cry now," she said, "it will just be ignored."

Me and Mr Cohen...

What a life I'm living. Simply amazing.

The weather is horrible, never ending being horrible either. Rain, rain, rain, wind, storm and some more rain.

My best companion at the moment, Mr. Cohen is getting me depressed, although I don't think it's his attention.

Tomorrow I'm gonna work behind a bar. Let's all see how that will go. Probably I will get a whole bunch telling me I have to learn portuguese. Fast. Yeah, really?

Idiots.

...

Today is a shit day. A bad day. In frustration I cleaned the appartement. So now I have more pain. I don't like this day at all.
Why do I sometimes feel like crying? I'm happy, ain't I? Do I have to cry? And why? WHY? Damnit.

My rolling bubble...

No walk yesterday but a trip to Barcelos. I ate in Rio Côvo and then met up with Xana and her crew (tihi). Took a beer at Alvaro and then went into the night at Diogos. Had pain crazy, sometimes I couldn't concentrate at what people what saying. A weird night. Laughter and missing. Smiles and frowns. Discussions and bullshit. At times I feel like I'm standing in a bubble just looking out at a night life I don't belong to. I know I shouldn't think that way, but I do feel... misplaced... sometimes. And I can't figure out what to do about it.

"Sometimes I feel so out of time and place, trapped in a maze, as if I was lost in someone else's life... The values I should keep in high regard don't mean a thing to me"

Morning has broken

Finally I got to sleep after some days. Like a baby. Can be due to the fever as well. I have an agressive urine infection. I think, why not? But in the end I collapsed by exhaustion. Today I woke up, still in pain, but with a will to live and wide open eyes. (not so dark under anymore! Woohooo!)

I just had a delayed breakfast since I ended up, with all this energy, to have an early coffee with my André, doing the dishes and some laundry and a little bit of cleaning before starting to answer all the e-mails for the festival. So now I just, just, enjoyed newly baked bread with cheese and veggies and some yogurt with healthy seeds of all kinds. Nicely done, Ms Vestin. I hope this energy will last all day!

The sun is shining again outside after some showers of rain, so the air is mmm... If I wont get stuck infront of my mistress (read computer) all day I hope I get a chance to take a walk by the sea. I should. I'm getting fat again, so I think for Beach 2009 I have to depend on my smile. Damnit. But, come to think of it, there will not be many days at the beach, working and all, so whatever... Gotta go and hang the laundry. It doesn't become funnier than this this morning. Oh well... Today is a spiritual day. I can feel it. ;0) Let's go Cat Steven... Ta ta...

"Morning has broken, like the first morning. Blackbird has spoken, like the first bird. Praise for the singing, praise for the morning. Praise for the springing fresh from the word. Sweet the rain's new fall, sunlit from heaven. Like the first dewfall, on the first grass. Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden. Sprung in completeness where his feet pass. Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning. Born of the one light, Eden saw play. Praise with elation, praise every morning. God's recreation of the new day."

Yawn or not to yawn? I mjaou...

So, yeah, thank God I don't look wide awake. That certainly helps! And yes, I am wining today. Let it go.